Why making teens make executive decisions is unfair!

One of the biggest mistakes I see is parents allowing teenagers to make life-altering decisions without proper adult due diligence — especially decisions like changing schools.

When a teen wants to move schools, the question should never be only “What does my child want?”
It must also be:
• Why do they want to leave the current school?
• What are they trying to escape or solve?
• What exactly do they believe will be different at the new school?

Without fully understanding this, families often move a child into a new school only to realise later that the academic structure doesn’t align. The result? Repeated grades, dropped grades, or confusion around Grade 9, 10, or 11 placement. By then, the child is already “two feet in a hole” — academically, emotionally, and psychologically.

What concerns me most is this:
When the decision doesn’t work out, some parents (not all) say to the child, “You chose this.”

That is unfair.

Teenagers do not yet have the developmental capacity to fully assess long-term consequences. These are parent decisions, informed by the child’s experience — not decisions that should be delegated to the child.

When children are made to carry adult responsibility, and then blamed when things unravel, this is when we start seeing loss of confidence, repeated grades, depression, and emotional shutdown.

Also, this is why we coach teens — so they learn how to make informed decisions, understand consequences, and grow in confidence, rather than being left to navigate life-altering choices on their own.

If you know that you don’t currently have the capacity — time, emotional bandwidth, or expertise — to do proper due diligence, please involve a Teencoach.

A Teencoach can objectively explore why your child wants to move schools. In many cases, we find that the child is not moving towards something better, but running away from something — a mistake they made, a conflict, fear, or academic pressure. Very often, what they are trying to escape can be addressed and resolved at the current school.

A drastic change can carry far more serious consequences than fixing the issue where the child already is.

Outsourcing is not failure.
It is responsible parenting.

Guide your child. Ask hard questions. Take responsibility for decisions that shape their future — so your child doesn’t have to carry consequences they were never equipped to choose.

Please pay attention to this.

P.S to check our Teencoaching programs for teens: https://www.mayinedevelopment.com/teencoaching